At dinner the other night I was trying to get Ben to eat his dinner (That's a whole post in and of itself)
M: Huggy (his imaginary friend) is going to eat all your dinner before you do.
B: Mom - Huggy is PRETEND
Ellie climbed on the table at my parents house
B: Look Mom, Ellie is a table dancer!
B: Cookies are my favorite thing to eat!
We were shopping at Walmart and Jim had Ben and Ellie. I met back up with them after Will and I got our Stuff.
D: I got all the stuff on my list.
M: I didn't have a list so I got whatever I wanted. :)
B: He didn't get ONE SINGLE THING for me.
Ben on the potty while Will and Ellie are crying in the living room
B: Mom, I can't poop with all the screaming
Ben getting off the potty (a different night)
B: Mom, I couldn't drop a dooder.
(Jim heard him say that and ran outside onto the porch knowing he'd be in big trouble for his influence.)
B: Are we going to buy a new house?
M: Not right now sweetie.
B: When this house is crap will we buy a new one?
He wanted me to sing Rock a Bye Baby over and over.
B: What is a cradle?
M: A cradle is a bed for a baby.
B: Then why is it in a tree?
M: Good question. I have no idea.
We were talking about it being Grandpa's Birthday and how we should make a cake for him
M: Should we put a pirate on Grandpa's cake?
B: No I like pirates.
M: What does Grandpa like?
I was trying to put together a 3D puzzle for him and I was struggling with some of the pieces.
B: Maybe we should have daddy do it. Daddy is cool.
B: It's ready to pee!! My penis is ready to pee!
B: Little games are for little kids, I'm not a little kid. I'm a big kid.
B: My bones are big & I can play the big game now. I ate my dinner so my bones are big now.
B: I'M BIG NOW. I'M THREE. I'M TALL.
(are you seeing a theme here? Ever since he turned three he's obssessed with being "Big")
M: Come here so I can change you into pullups.
B: Change me into pullups?
B: You don't have a magic wand.
M: what are you doing?
B: I'm freaking out!
Coming into The Strip inVegas
B: Daddy look at all those temples!
B: Momma! The trees are waving at me!! (it was windy)
B: You need to read a book on the potty Mommy.
M: Pick up your toys or I will take them away.
B: Take them away
B: I want a cheese sandwich with yellow peanut butter.
M: Yellow peanut butter?
B: Branka puts it on my cheese sandwich.
M: Do you mean BUTTER?
Talking about how Grandpa broke his rib
B: That's sad Mommy. Now he can't jump on the trampoline.
B: There's a ball in my penis. I can't squish it
M: What do you want for Lunch?
B: Something good and not greasy.
M: Nice try McFly
B: Nice try, McMommy
B: A little tv will help me calm down.
B: You put your arms open wide and then you hug the baby.
B: I want to take your picture.
M: What do you see in the camera?
B: Your boobies (He was standing on the couch)
M: Move the camera so you can see what you want to take a pic of.
He didn't move the camera.
M: Ben, do you want to take a picture of my boobies?
B: Yea - pull your shirt up.
M: No way. give me that camera.
M: I'm tired of telling you to stop touching your sister.
B: Yea, you are tired Momma. You should go to sleep.
(While watching "Ace of Cakes")
B: That was not a cake. That was a fish. Cakes are not fishes.
B: My finger just kissed my neck.
I can't remember what I said to him but he responded with:
B: You're going down, Tubby
M:Where did you hear that?
B: From my mouth.
M: Who is Tubby?
B: He is a cookie who lives in the forest in a house.
B: Come here so I can kick your bottom.
B: Mommy I want to glow in the dark!
M: So do I baby.
M: Are the babies awake or asleep? (yep I asked it AGAIN)
B: 2, no 3 are awake.
M: 3? Who's the third one?
B: There's something coming out of my butt!!
M: What is it?
B: It's poop!
B: (singing) Goopy on my Poopy!! (and dancing) (Goopy is what we call diaper rash cream)
(During his haircut - which done was under much protesting)
M: You are going to be so handsome.
B: I AM handsome.
In the car (yes I ask this all the time in the car)
M: Is Will asleep?
B: He's awake.
B: He's asleep.
B: He's awake.
B: He's blinking.
M: Give me a second and I will take Ellie from Daddy
B: You don't take babies from people.
Daddy: Who you gonna call?
D: You can't touch this
B: yes I can
(while changing a poopy diaper)
M: You need to tell me when you are poopy
B: I'm poopy.
M: Ben, close the front door.
B: I'm letting the bugs in.
M: Honey, Stop climbing on me
B: I'm not Honey, Daddy's Honey - I'm Ben.
(In the car)
B: Mommy I'm dreaming about you
(In the car)
M: Is Will Sleeping?
M:Is he looking at you?
M: What does he look like?
B: A baby
Anyone: Ben, How are you?
B: I'm two
M: Ben are you poopy?
B: No - Are YOU poopy? Is DADDY poopy?
M: Ben go pick up your toys.
B: I can't. I'm a chicken.
M: If you're a chicken then lay an egg.
B: Eggs come from a chicken's butt.
M: Do not touch my keyboard again.
B runs over to his play phone and dials some numbers
B: Grandma you have to help me! Momma's mad at me!
B is totally sounds asleep and starts crying.
M: Baby, Baby wake up. What's wrong?
B: The dinosaur bit me.
M changing B's diaper while on hold with the insurance company
The minute the woman answers
B: MY PENIS! I want to hold my penis