Skipping Ahead to our vacation

I decided to skip the rest of the buying of the house. It was frustrating and aggravating but it's finally over. We now have our house and we are all settled in. Our friends Todd and Anna came from California to visit last week. We spent three days down in Savannah. It was hot and humid but so much fun!

We went to Tybee Island to play at the beach. I was amazed at how fearless the kids were. They are so much more confident in the water. (Which can scare mommy!) They loved finding sea shells. I found a crab in a shell, which everyone had a blast watching. Will found a crab claw and he thought it was AWESOME!! We saw jellyfish and made sure to not touch them! I didn't get a picture of them while we were there. :(
We ate lunch on the beach and while we were there we got to see dolphins swimming in the water pretty close to the shore.

They spent so much time in the water. It was so much fun. Jim and Ellie got pretty sunburned :( (Mom apparently isn't so good at applying sunscreen) 

There was an amazing thunderstorm that night while we were in the hotel room. Lightening and thunder right overhead. Pouring Rain. I love the thunderstorms here! They are so fun to watch. 

Strengths and Weaknesses

Turns out children are individuals. They are TOTALLY different. Even twins are completely different.

Back Story:
We've had a long last couple of days. Saturday night we went to a friends house and the kids didn't go to bed until almost 10:30 which is way past bed time. Then yesterday we went to my parents house and they played with a bunch of their cousins. We got home about 7 which is pretty much bed time. Needless to say the kids were EXHAUSTED.

All of them needed showers before they went to bed so we were preparing for that. I told Ellie to pick out jammies and get ready to take a shower. She didn't want to pick out jammies. Then she wanted someone to be with her. This turned into a full blown tantrum. Ellie tantrums are exhausting and frustrating (as most of them are.) But this little girl is determined, smart, stubborn, and persistent. She will continue to cry/ask for the same thing over and over during a tantrum. You can ask her a question and she refuses to answer it. She will continue to repeat the same statement over and over. I know this sounds like a regular tantrum, but and Ellie tantrum is worse than a Ben tantrum or a Will tantrum. An Ellie tantrum is a battle of wills. And hers is STRONG. Which is something that I love about her. I want her to always have that determination and strong will. We have had to learn how to deal with it. She needs to know there are boundaries. She needs to know that she is being heard and is allowed to be angry but she has to learn to control it. She needs consistency. She's like a wild mare. She has so much strength and power in her she just needs to know how to reign it in when needed. She needs to know who is in control and how far she is allowed to push things. If you give into her tantrums she is ten times worse the next time. When she learns to control her determination, strong will, persistence and stubbornness she will go far in life. Jim is amazing dealing with her. He is patient and strong. He knows how to calm her down and he's able to help her to control her anger. I learn so much from watching him with her.

Will is totally different than her. He gets overwhelmed easily. He is super sensitive and super smart. He is surprisingly smart. When he gets upset he freaks out. His isn't because he wants to control the situation like his sister. He does want things to go his way but not because he wants to control things. In dealing with Will you have to remove him from the situation. When he gets upset its like his senses have gone on overload. Even if you gave him what he wanted he'd still have a hard time calming down. He needs to completely leave the room. Sometimes you have to sit with him and have him take big deep breaths. We have to help him refocus his frustration.

Ben is very emotional. He is very caring and loving. Trust is very big with him. If you tell him something is going to happen it NEEDS to happen. He has a hard time understanding when you tell him "no" its for a reason it's not just because you don't love him. He takes every "no" personally. With Ben you have to explain to him the reason you are telling him no and let him know that you still love him he just can't do x, y or z. He wants to please everyone. He is very concerned about people liking him - whether its us, his friends, his teachers, etc. With him we need to help him gain more self confidence.

Our kids are so unique. They are all so much fun and we love them each so much. Its quite a learning experience in handling each one of them. What works with one doesn't work with another. In fact sometimes what is the right thing to do with one of them is complete wrong thing to do for the other. I'm so grateful that I have such a wonderful husband who is so patient with them (and me).

Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. (I even decorate my BATHROOM lol) I couldn't skip doing a Halloween post. I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked but I am working on it. Here is Ben carving his pumpkin. 

Ellie was content to watch. She thought scooping out the pumpkin guts was "disgusting"

 Will was having fun running around the driveway. 

 The closest thing I got to a picture of all of them. 

My ninja checking out his jack o lantern. He said "Mom I don't want to get to close to it because my costume says its flammable." Safety first! :)

Here are my trick or treaters. :) We had a ninja, an Angry Bird and Captain America. (She was Captain America last year as well. But we had to break down and buy her a new costume because her old one was ripped.) I also had to go to three different stores for the Angry Bird costume and after I finally found it and bought it our friend told me he found it at Baby's R Us for 40% off. GRRRR!!! Oh Well. Will Loved it. Once Halloween was over I throw all the costumes into their costume box and they get to play with them all year. It makes it worth the money in my book. 

Happy Halloween!!!

Help!!!

How do I get them out of my bed?! They all go to sleep in their own rooms. (Well, Ben in one room, Will and Ellie in the other.) They all have the same bedtime routine:

Bath(or shower)
Teeth brushed
Potty
Drink
Story
Song
Prayer
Then Mommy or Daddy leave the room and they fall asleep on their owns. Everything is great until about 2 in the morning. They are like ninja's. Some nights we have no idea when they come in our room until the inevitable happens - they get too hot and want to sleep in between us on TOP of the blankets, meaning we dont get any blankets. or they start squirming and kicking and wanting to sleep on top of mommy.

We have a queen sized bed which is WAY to small for two overweight (but working on it!! :) ) adults, a 6 year old who hates covers, a 4 year old who loves sleeping at the middle of the bed - usually in between my knees with his head on my thigh, and a 4 year old who has to sleep on the edge of the bed but you have to hold her so she doesn't feel like she's falling off.

I'm tired People!!! I don't get enough sleep because of the circus in my bed and neither does Jim which makes him grumpy. That in turn puts me in a bad mood.

They have always slept in their own rooms. (Well Ben shared our room when the twins were born but he had his own area). Come to think of it that's around the time he started coming into our bed. He was about 2. The twins didn't start coming to our bed until they were about 3. Its not because of nightmares or bad dreams or anything like that, they just wake up and waltz on into our room.

Help!!! Any ideas, suggestions, therapy, etc, would be greatly appreciated!!! I want my bed back!!

(Disclaimer - I have no issue with people who choose to cosleep. It can be a wonderful thing and if it is what works for your family - more power to you. This is not working for our family.)

Does it get easier?

One of my main questions when the twins were born was always "Does it get easier?" I remember people would stop me when I was out with all of the kids and they would say "I have twins too! But mine are XX age now" I would always ask them my most pressing question (especially when the twins were under a year) "Does it ever get easier?" They would always give me that knowing look and say "it gets easier in some ways and harder in others"

You know what? They were right. I have to say that first year was the hardest. When the twins were babies it took everything out of me just to make it through each day. Especially with Will's reflux. When he had a bad day I wasn't sure how I was going to survive. Lack of sleep, three kids needing their mom, a house that needed cleaning, a husband working two jobs, hoping to shower at least every once in awhile, etc. Saying it was hard is an understatement.

Years two and three were easier but hard in their own ways. Terrible twos x two was not fun. Potty training x two - an adventure (although Ellie only took about a week. Will still has issues at times)

The twins are now 4 and Ben is 6. I have to say it really is a lot easier now. We still have temper tantrums and learning to share issues. But over all I have to say IT DOES GET EASIER!!!

They are now (not that they weren't always) very opinionated. Now they can voice them and they do - Loudly at times. But they are so much fun! It's been awesome to see their personalities develop. All three of them are so different. They all have a great sense of humor and make me laugh every day. I love how much they love each other. With three there does seem to be one left out alot of the time. Usually it's Will but he's pretty content to play with his Thomas Trains alone. He loves trains and waterfalls.  Ben and Ellie are usually off playing Avengers. (She is quite the tomboy. She HATES all things girly and is convinced she is someday going to marry Captain America lol) Ben is in first grade and loves Math and science. He doesn't love writing but likes to read.

If I could give a new twin parent any advice it would be

• Remember this too shall pass. The first year is hard.
• Recruit as much help as possible.
• Find time for yourself to rejuvinate you. It will benefit your children as much as yourself.
• You are not alone in this.
• Dont try to do it all.
• Take as many pictures as you can - the time really does fly quickly and you will forget how tiny they used to be.
• Hug your babies often.
• Encourage your children to grow up to be whatever THEY want to be. Not whatever YOU want them to be. Everyone will be much happier.

I am no way an expert on raising twins but I did survive the first four years and you will too!!

Ben and the Dentist

The other day I was looking into Ben's mouth and noticed that he had cracked a molar at some point. WTF?! When did that happen? I asked him about it and he said he had no idea when it broke but it did scratch his tongue every now and then. He said it didn't hurt.(But then a day or two later he started complaining that his teeth hurt.)We agreed that a dentist appointment was in order. So we were able to get him in on Tuesday the 3rd at noon. 

This isn't the first time he's been to the dentist. He had to go before Kindergarten just to get a checkup. This is the first time he's had to have any actual work done. They did the xrays. (which made him gag. But he kept trying!!) Then they brought him back to the room and the dentist looked at his tooth. He said he did need a filing and he could fit us in later that day. Daddy had some work that needed to be done as well so he would be taking Ben.

They get back to the dentist and Jim sits in the room with him until the dentist is ready. They said a lot of the time it's easier if Mom or Dad isn't in the room because then the child can focus solely on the dentist. They got  Ben taken care  of and all he wanted to do was cuddle with Daddy. Just wanted to be held. Jim got to cuddle him for a few minutes but then had to go get his work done so Ben stayed in the game room by himself. (Our dentist's office is AWESOME! It has a free arcade room for the kids. There are 6 arcade games that don't need any coins and the kids can just play in there.) But Ben didn't really want to be in there he wanted to be with his daddy. Jim was having 2 teeth extracted so he was in his room for a quite a awhile. Ben kept coming in to check on his dad. The dentist would say "Hi Ben!! Daddy's doing great. He'll be done in a few." and Ben would go back to the game room.

After they were done Ben got a little toy and they came home. Ben was Very cuddly and just wanted to lay in his bed. After about an hour he seemed to be better. Although the next day we noticed his cheek was still swollen. Turns out he must have been chewing on his cheek when he was nervous. Now, 4 days later he's still swollen and now we're pretty sure that the inside of his cheek is infected. I called the dentist today and left a message. Hopefully he will call back soon and let us know what to do for it. Poor little guy.

And now Ellie is obsessed with going to the dentist. She keeps telling me she needs to go. I think I'm going to schedule her for  her first appointment to see what the dentist is all about. He's a really great dentist so we will see how she does lol. 

Chest Pains

For the last 5 or 6 months Ben has been complaining that his chest hurts at recess. No other time of the day. Just the end of  recess. I thought maybe there was something happening at recess but I volunteer every Friday and he seems to have a great time. I thought maybe it was all the running, swinging, playing etc. But it doesn't happen after he jumps on the trampoline or rides his scooter. 

So we decided to make an appointment for him. The doctor checked him out and said his breathing sounds normal and his lungs sound clear. It's most likely just pain in his chest wall. But he wanted to do an x-ray and an EKG to make sure.  He also said to put him on a half  a Zantac twice a day for a week. If it doesn't help then discontinue it. 

This is a really crappy picture. It was taken with my cell phone. This is Ben getting the chest x-ray. The technician was great. He let Ben go back and look at the x-rays and showed him where his heart, spine and ribs are. Ben was so excited. Then he let Ben pick out a sucker. Ben does not like Root-Beer suckers. 

Then we went up for the EKG. For the record, I have never had one of these. I have never seen one done either. So I couldn't even tell him what was going to happen. (I usually prepare him for whatever appointment he has.) He likes to know what is going on and why. This time I had no info for him except "they are going to check your heart." We go in and again the technician is great. He talks to Ben throughout the whole thing telling him what he is doing and why. At the end he even let Ben help take off all of the "stickers" I took this picture of Ben and showed it to him. 

He said "It looks like I'm going to be changed into a monster!" He thought it was pretty awesome. He gave Ben two suckers. Ben does like Bubblegum and Banana suckers. 

We have another appointment in two weeks to go over the results. 

Rejection

Ben had a rough day yesterday he got put in time out in his room twice. The first time I found this note coming out from under his door. I love his spelling. Let me translate for you "No Mom Allowed" I have to admit I giggled when I saw it. It was so adorable. (I didn't let him see me giggle.)

Later he got put in time out again in his room and this time the note was even harsher. Translation - "No Mom Ever Allowed"

 

I love that he is using his writing skills. I know he doesn't mean it and in fact it just makes me smile. (It probably shouldn't though. I probably should feel some twinge of pain over the rejection but I don't because I know in 5 minutes he will love me again and I will be allowed in back in his room)

Oh how I love my growing boy.  

Way Back Wednesday

I love going back through old pictures on my computer. I have them sorted by year then by month. Routinely I will go back and see what happened a year ago on this day or two years ago or three, etc. I thought this would be the perfect thing to participate in. Cheryl over at Twinfatuation hosts Way Back Wednesday
(I'm cheating a little and doing 5 picutres instead of 1)

 Dateline: April 4, 2006
Ben's Age: 5 months
This was taken at our house in Phoenix right before we moved back to California.

Dateline: April 6, 2007

Ben's Age: 1 1/2 years

Ben and his cousin Evan when we were living in the guest house in my parents backyard.

 Dateline: April 5, 2008
Ben's Age: 2 1/2 years old
Ben and his new room. We decided to move Ben into our room right before the twins were born. We figured since we only had 2 rooms it would actually be easier to have them in their own room. He loved his new room.

 Dateline: April 6, 2009
Twin's Age: 11 days shy of 1 year
Watching tv.

Dateline: April 4, 2009

Ben's Age: 4 1/2 years

Twin's Age: 13 days shy of 2 years

Easter morning. I love Ellie's expression in this picture. This is Will's first train. We started an obsession that morning lol.

Not babies anymore - Part 1, Ben

I figured since my last couple post have been more AAM (all about me) posts I do one that just focused on the kids.

They are growing so quickly!!! I can't believe I don't have babies anymore. They are officially "big kids"

Ben is now 5. He's in Kindergarten and loving it. He loves to learn. He can read now (which doesn't help when Mommy and Daddy are trying to spell words to each other so the kids don't understand. Pig Latin here we come!)

I can't get over this smile. It gets me every time.

 He loves to do crafts with Mommy. Painting, coloring, cutting, cooking, etc.

 He loves his family. He's a great big brother. Him and Ellie are inseperable. She copies everything he does. Thankfully he is generally a really good kid.
I love him so much.

Christmas Tree Farm

For the first time ever we decided to get a real Christmas tree. We debated just going to one of the many Christmas Tree farms on the side of the road but then we remembered there is a HUGE Christmas Tree farm about a half hour from us. So we bundled all the kids up (relative term. It was cold to us. - probably in the 50s - 60s. I know that's nothing to most of you but we're not used to the cold. :) )

We were lucky when we got there that Santa and Mrs. Claus were there visiting.

Ben got to ride on a pony. The pony was named Spot. We were a little unsure of how he'd do but he LOVED it.

I love this one. He looks so little yet so big.

They had a petting zoo as well. We didn't take the babies in with the little goats. They jumped on quite a few of the people in there and I didn't think that it would be safe (or fun) to try to hold all three kids in there. (Ben didn't want down most of the time.)

Babies watching from the outside.

Looking at the giant turtles

This cracked me up. If you read the sign it says "DO NOT TOUCH THIS ANIMAL" The gate was wide open. Kept looking around for that animal.

I love this one of the twins. They are just so happy in this pic. They really did great. They seemed to have tons of fun.

"Big smiles"

Will and Ellie at their own "petting zoo"

Ben thought this Reindeer was awesome

Picking out the Christmas Tree

Found it!

I love that they were oblivious to Santa right behind them.

Bringing the tree to the car

Santa and Mrs. Claus leaving (Can you see the antlers on their truck?!)

Tree is loaded and ready to go!

Goofy Ellie

Silly Will

Santa leaving. Note the license plate.

It was such a fun time. I loved having a real Christmas tree. I can't wait to do this again next year and start it as a family tradition.