One Year ago today

This is from my journal one year ago

"I had my dr appointment today. He's not really worried about Ellie's growth. He said it could just be that she's small and a girl. BUT the Peri has decided he wants them out two weeks earlier than planned sooooo they changed the date to
 

April 17th!!
 

I'm a little freaked out. 14 days from today. I can't believe it. I'm a little nervous because that will put them here at 35w6d instead of 37w5d. I am praying they don't have to spend much time in the NICU.

I have a NST on Mon and then another one the next Mon. My next dr appt is next Friday.

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing yet. I'm still just scared but excited. "

Then later

"I think I'm warming up to the idea. I am still a little freaked/stressed/nervous about it. I think my main concern is that they are going to be here before 36 weeks and that was the magic number in my head. I just have to keep telling myself that it's only ONE day before 36 weeks. I'm still just praying they are ok and there isn't any NICU time or if there is it's just a couple days while I am in the hosp as well. I guess at this point only time will tell. I wonder if it would be worth it to ask for the steriod shots to ensure their lungs are mature? or if it's too late at this point.."

 

  

I can't believe it's been a year. They are here and healthy. They didn't have to spend any time in the NICU. It's been an amazing, overwhelming, crazy year.

We are having the twin's first birthday party next Saturday. I still have so much to do to get ready for it.

Give me Five Monday

So I was sitting here thinking about what I could blog about today. I could blog about the fact that I have to eat Skittles in a certain order (green, purple, yellow, orange, red) or

that I am stuck on the Twilight Saga books (I just finished all 3 books in less than a week or that I can't wait for the 4th book to come out! Aug 2nd.)

or that my c-section incision is almost completely healed! (YEAH it only took almost four months. I still have one part that is still open but it's getting shallower - is that a word?)

But I didn't figure any of that was really blog worthy and I didn't have too much more that was even worth mentioning.

Oh Wait - I did go to a breasfeeeding clinic today and they said we are doing great. Will is now 12lbs .09oz and Ellie is now 9lbs.09oz. So things are looking good in that regard.

But I found this blog Give Me Five Monday today. Each week, she will put out a random topic from a list of topics and the readers share 5 answers of their choice on the given topic and link back to her. I thought it might be fun so here goes....

Today's topic

Give Me Five fun summer vacation memories from your childhood.

1. Ferrell's - We were all swimming in our doughboy pool and my parents called out for us to come inside because they were taking us to Ferrell's!

2. Family Reunion - Every year we would go to a huge family reunion. It was with my dad's side of the family and there would be about 150 people there. I used to love going and hanging out with all of my extended family.

3. Girls Camp - When I turned tweleve I was allowed to go to Girl's Camp with our church. It was from Tuesday through Saturday and I loved it. I would get homesick at night but it was so much fun. We would do crafts and sing songs and go to classes and build friendships and our testimonies. I always hated coming back to the 'real world'

4. Birthday Parties - My sister Amanda and I have birthday's that are 3 days apart so we always shared a birthday party. We would have friends over for a sleep over and play games and eat cake.

5. Sleeping on the trampoline - During the summer we were allowed to sleep on the trampoline in the back yard. We learned quickly that you had to make sure that there were blankets underneath you as well as on top of you or else you would freeze. Sometimes I'm tempted to sleep on it now (except it's broken and I'd be sleeping in the dirt and I'm WAY to old for that) But I wouldn't mind spending the night on the trampoline again.

Rough Day

Today was a really rough day. I had a doctor's appointment because my c-section incision still hasn't healed yet. I had to take all three kids with me. No big deal normally. I've done it before. Ben will sit in the front of the stroller, one of the babies will be in an infant carrier in the back of the stroller and the other baby I wear in a front carrier. Pretty easy. I've done this 3 times now. The babies usually sleep through the whole appointment and I just move the infant carrier from the stroller onto the couch in the exam room and then put the other baby laying down in the stroller. Not this time...

It started out easily enough - Ben sat in the front of the stroller. Will was in the infant carrier in the back of the stroller and Ellie was in the front carrier. Neither Ellie nor Will wanted to sleep. Ellie kept fussing in the front carrier and Will kept losing his pacifier. Ben kept dropping his coloring book while we were going up to the doctors office and in the waiting room. We finally get into the exam room. Ellie just wants to be held, Will can't keep his pacifier in and Ben wanted to lay on the exam table with me. Not fun! I laid on the table with Ellie on my left side and Ben laying on my right side. Then I would continually put Will pacifier in with my free(haha) hand. They had to take my blood pressure at the beginning of the appointment. They didn't tell me what it was but I'm guessing it was sky high.

We finally got home and Ellie was asleep. She slept from 11:30 all the way to 2:40. I didn't take her out of her car seat because I was afraid she'd wake up. Will wouldn't sleep for longer than 10 - 20 minutes. Our house was a mess so I was trying to clean it while taking care of Will and Ben. Will finally took a nap at 3:00 to 6:00 (which was awesome but by this time Ellie was awake) They are both asleep now and hopefully will sleep through until 1:30.

I found an awesome website. menus4moms I haven't had a chance to look through all links but I plan to look around it more tomorrow after swim lessons. Any tips for busy moms and organization are welcomed here! :)

Randomness

Random #1

I get so busy with the twins that I've had to come up with things that Ben can do on his own. I went to Target the other day and got him a Rubbermaid tote and a bunch of plastic fish, rubber duckies and boats. I fill the Rubbermaid tote up with water and let him play with all of it on the porch. Yesterday I heard him call me while he was out there so I looked and this is what I found...

The poor boy's swimming pool

Random #2

I love living behind my parents (we live in a guest house in their back yard) It really has come in handy while having the twins. Either Ben, the twins and I go up to visit them or they come to visit us just about every night. It's so nice to have extra hands in helping with the babies. Ben loves his "Branka" (Grandpa) and Grandma. I don't think I could have survived the last two months without their help. My mom comes out every other night to help give the babies a bath and every morning to pack my c-section incision - after 2 months it still isn't completely healed. 2 weeks after the c-section they had to reopen it because it was healing from the outside first. They said it would take 6-8 weeks to heal. It's been 10 weeks and still not healed. grrr)

Three of my favorite men.

My dad, Ben and Will

Random #3

On June 30 2003 we found out we hadn't gotten selected for the INCIID the Heart program (an IVF scholarship program) This is what I wrote on my website from that day

"Well they made their decision and picked four of the seven applicants and we were not among the four. I don't know how I can handle this. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my body. I feel like my chance at Motherhood keeps slipping further and further away. It gets close every now and then, almost within reach but then it gets ripped away right out of my hands. I never thought someone could feel this much pain. I feel like I've miscarried again. Am I not fit to be a mother? Would we not be good parents? Why were we chosen for this path? It's such a horrible thought that we may never be able to give our parents grandchildren. We may never know the joy of holding our own child. We may never have our own grandchildren. Our branch of the family tree just may end here. Oh how I don't want that to happen. I want to wake up every night with crying babies. I want to kiss their tears away and calm their fears. I want to be able to share in first teeth, first words and first steps. I want to hear someone say "Mommy" and have them talking about me. I want to be able to give Jim babies and make him a Dad. I wonder if it will ever happen. Part of me dies a little every time we get rejected"

On August 30, 2003 we were selected for the program and now 5 years later we are the proud parents of 3 kids. I don't think I ever believed we'd have 3 kids. I desperately wanted at least one and couldn't bear to look past that. My children are my life and I am so grateful for them. I feel so blessed. I can't imagine my life any other way.

Holding my Babies