Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Calgon take me away

Let me preface this by saying I love my children with all of my heart. I would do anything for them. I am so grateful that I have all three of them but holy crap it is hard.
Having twins is HARD. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially having twins and a toddler. I try really hard not to complain. I know this is what I asked for (and if one more person tells me that I'm going to punch them in the face. Ok maybe not really but I hate hearing that) Bedtime is killing me. It's not getting easier. Will's screams are like nails on a chalkboard to me right now. The problem is both babies want to be held individually but there is only one of me. Jim puts Ben to bed every night except Monday and Thursday when he has school. Those nights my parents help out by taking one of the babies. (I don't know what I'd do without my parents right now)
Let me give you an idea of my night (perfect example was last night) I took all three kids to my parents house. My mom rocked Will (who was fighting it really hard) and I rocked Ellie. Ellie fell asleep pretty quickly so I took Ellie and Ben home to put them to bed. On the way home (all 125 feet) Ellie woke up. Great. I put her in her bouncy chair and get Ben ready for bed. I bring Ellie into our room while I'm putting Ben to bed. Ellie starts fussing in the bouncy chair so I have to pick her up. I'm trying to put her to sleep and Ben to sleep at the same time, when my mom brings Will back because he's now asleep. She puts Will into his bed and goes home. Ben is finally asleep. Ellie is still awake and of course now Will starts fussing. I put Ellie down to go take care of Will. Get Will pacified sorta and go back to deal with crying Ellie. Will starts fussing again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Ellie finally falls asleep close to 10:00. Will goes to sleep but then fusses a couple times because that damn pacifier, that he has to have to sleep, keeps falling out. About 10:30 everyone is finally asleep.
Nap times during the day suck too. Will was beginning to sleep better. (one day he took two 2 1/2 hour naps.) But it hasn't lasted. Today Will didn't sleep for longer than an hour at a time. Which is still better than Ellie who didn't sleep longer than a half hour today. I don't know what to do. I have no idea how to get them to sleep better.
Everyone is finally asleep now. Once they fully get to sleep they do great. They normally wake up only once. I can't complain about that. I just wish I could figure how to get them to do better at going to bed and napping.


Chelsea said...

that is so frustrating. i really don't know how you manage infant twins and a toddler. so perhaps the following is easy for me to say, but i've never had the habit of rocking my kids to sleep. it's not that i never rocked them, but i always put them down drowsy. now, when it's 8, i put henry in his bed. sometimes, he read books for THREE hours, but he's in bed. sometimes, he falls right asleep. jack is also put down completely awake. we have our bedtime routines and i put them down at 8 every night [most nights], regardless of their level of drowsiness. ultimately, they have to put themselves to sleep. it can be hard to get them to this point. there may be lots of crying themselves to sleep but some hard work now can pay huge dividends later. get a bag of earplugs. there are a couple books you also may want to look into if you haven't already, like the sleep whisperer. GOOD LUCK!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that sounds like a really hard thing for you guys. Our prayers are with you. I know you... and I know you'll figure it out! You always do! Just like with Ben, you found the trick that worked for HIM. You will find the trick for the twins too. Each child is so different. This too shall pass, and you will be grateful when it does!!! You are seriously one of the strongest people I know. You will make it through this-I know it. We love you guys!

Allison said...

Having twins and a toddler is REALLY hard. I would have some choice words for anyone who says you chose that. You chose that just as much as anyone chooses to have children. You choose to have children, but them they come whatever way they are meant to come.

Anyway, I don't have great advice, bedtime sucked until mine were 6 months old. Until then, hubby would put Anna down (and she was really easy and we never went to her at night - it was just necessity). With the twins, I would bathe them, and then for their last feeding of the night Adam got a bottle and Isabel nursed. Even though they both nursed all other times, this just made everything a lot more calm for me at bedtime. If I was alone (we didn't have family close, and Ben had class I think just one night a week), I would prop the bottle for him.

After eating I would put them down drowsy but awake. I would often have to stay in the room to put pacifiers back in for a little while, until they were fully asleep. They also liked to be swaddled until past 6 months old (weird, I know) so I swaddled them in a way that sort of held the pacifier in a bit. I hated those stupid things too.

Anyway, I know this doesn't help at all. But the point is, this too shall pass. It will get better! But I do recommend working towards them going to go to sleep on their own. They are still a bit young, but if they can go to sleep on their own eventually, it will pay off big time.

Allison said...

One more thing - what kind of pacifier does Will use? Adam used the hospital ones, and these were out of stock when I had him but I wanted one so bad:


Erica said...

OMG I dont even know what to say but girl GOD BLESS YOU... I did puit Zach to sleep every night but when Shelby came I was like heck no she went to bed by herself if she cried she cried but it didnt last long.

Heather & Chaos said...

I feel for you! My one twin cries every night when I put her bed. As soon as I put her in her crib and start walking out of the room she starts crying. But it doesn't last long. Five minutes is long if she even cries that long. It's just something she has to do I suppose. The one thing I've learned since having twins is to deal with crying. I swear with my son we never let him cry. With the twins, I wouldn't have gotten through the last 10 months if I didn't. Everyone is different though and every baby is different. Good luck to you!! And I promise - it DOES get better. =)