Thursday, May 19, 2011

Pretending

I'm going to start off by saying this post is going to be a lot of rambling. I just have to get these thoughts out of my head and I figured this was the perfect place to throw them.

For as long as I can remember I have always felt out of place. I don't really have a place that I fit in. Now days its the grownup world that I don't feel like I fit into. I still feel like I'm 17 and now I'm just pretending to be an adult. Sometimes I worry that someone is going to show up and call my bluff.

I feel like a kid in adults clothing. Pretending to be something I'm not. It's weird to be 33 (which I can never remember. It always takes me a little while to figure out how old I really am) but still feel like I'm 17. I keep wondering when that grownup feeling will kick in.

I have 3 kids. I've bought 2 homes and sold 1. I've 7 owned cars. I pay bills pretty responsibly. I've been married for going on 11 years now. I'm technically an adult. So when do I start feeling like one?

3 comments:

Abby said...

I know exactly what you mean!!! I have no answers, but I feel that way a lot. So if anything - you're not the only one! :D:

Cocoroo said...

Never. One never grows up inside but you get to a certain age and you are that "age" inside forever. All you can do is continue to learn and take care of the things that need taking care of...whether or not you want to. Life goes on and so do we.... we may grow older but we never really grow up. At nearly 62, I still feel around 20 inside. Wish my body reflected that. hahahaha

Muse Mama said...

I'll be 34 in July. When you figure that out, please let me know.

I had the weirdest realization the other day, that I feel like my oldest child is catching up to me in age. He's not. I'm getting older. But I just don't feel like it.

I wonder if I'll still feel this way when I'm 70.